Back in the day, the coolest thing ever was the USB Humping Dog. What did it do? You stuck it in your USB port and it... well, it humped your computer, much like an amorous male dog is wont to do. We're beyond such juvenile humor (on most days), but we wanted a fun toy to use at the office.
Show your love for Cthulhu (or just octopuses or kraken) with the USB Squirming Tentacle. Simply plug it into your USB port and it will fill your computer with unspeakable evils. Just kidding, it doesn't store any data. (Just evil.) The USB Squirming Tentacle will draw a small amount of power from your computer, enabling it to squirm and wiggle like an Elder God trying to escape your laptop.